There is very little that I look up to like a kick ass female. Yesterday at the gym, there were two profoundly sculpted and indisputably beautiful girls who were taking turns on the leg press. Sometimes, girls will parade around campus in blazers and pumps, looking business professional, all the while I admire their “bossery.” I realized that I want to be seen as such. I want to wake up everyday sipping on a cup of ambition as I pull back the curtains and take a deep breath of promise. I no longer want to waste my breathe on empty words and spend my time on extraneous solutions. Here is how I will become an ambitious woman who cannot be bothered.
Firstly, I will fill my cup with selfish. Now the term selfish does not have to be negative; To be selfish is to prioritize one’s self over the abundant needs of others. I am a firm believer that you cannot help others without, first, helping yourself . For so long, I concerned myself with relationships that were mentally and emotionally draining (literally). I would pour so much of my energy, thoughts, and feelings into other people who would never be quenched without their own self-acceptance. I would run myself dry trying to fill a cup with a leak. It sucked. I acted as “therapist” for so many friends–diagnosing their problems while I still had my own. If you can’t figure out your own life, how can you be there to fix everyone else’s? Not only is it impossible, it’s actually the bad kind of selfish–to try and make someone believe and become something that you have yet to understand. From now on, I am putting myself first. I am prioritizing self care, mental health, hygiene, and motivation, before anything or anyone else; I am selfish and healthy.
Step two to achieve the “bossery” I so admire is probably the simplest of them all: write it down! At the beginning of this week, I made a list of October-Do-Mores, that I keep scribbled on a post-it note on my laptop; I even challenged my roommate to do the same! This list of Do-Mores does not include “making 1,000 dollars” or “never using plastic again,” although these are things I would love to accomplish, I started small. I wrote down ten goals that will be challenging, but are completely feasible. For example, my Do-More list reads: stretch, dance every morning, hit the gym, less social media, listen to music whenever possible, sit in the dining hall instead of getting to-go boxes, make flashcards for classes, give my roommate a hug everyday, spending less, and, ironically, make more lists. So far, I’ve been completely successful in managing the things I need to do more, in fact, my favorite of these is making a list every day. Each morning, I make a list of things, large or small, scheduled or in my free time, that I must do that day. I visualize what I would like my day to look like, and I am specific in the details when I make my lists. The closer I come to completing my specific goals, the more productive and accomplished I feel at the end of the day. I know what my goals are, I know what they look like, and how to feel when I accomplish them. I have a strong vision, and I say “no” to everything that is not somehow included.
The last step that I am taking to achieve my ambitious goasl is simply to do it! I’ve cut out negative energy and made a list of goals and visions, now I must do. Sure, this step is easier said than done, but really…it isn’t. Do it girl! Eat the salad, schedule your trip to the gym, set your alarm, and be the most loving and enlightened version of yourself that you possibly can. It is okay to have off-days, and it is completely natural to be tired and grumpy on some days, as long as you still show up! Part of dreaming is, one day, doing, even if it means pushing through the bad days. There is a reason that you set achievable goals and steered clear of outrageous proposals. When you were writing your list of Do-Mores and To-Do’s, you did so with the initial belief that they CAN and WOULD be accomplished, so believe in your own power and go do it! Do things that are rewarding and make you smile. Wake up, kick ass, and repeat!
Everyone’s version of “bossery” is different. Do what makes you feel empowered, so that you might properly support and advise those around you. Adopt your own routine of success that is specific to your vision of achievement. These are the steps that I will be taking to be the best version of myself for the month of October, and hopefully longer. We, as females, have had our fair share of squashed aspirations. It is my challenge to you, dear reader, to define your dreams and achieve the persona of “ambitious woman that cannot be bothered.”
Much love, Ev.
Pathways 
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